The Great Adventure

Sunday is my day of reckoning.

I am excited.

I am scared.

I am worried.

I am full of doubt.

I don’t say these things to engender sympathy, comments, etc. After all it’s my blog and I can be just as honest as I want to be.

Sunday is my day of reckoning and I am afraid.

I want this new ministry of writing and speaking. I want it badly.

I want a new voice. I want the ability to share with the hurting, validate the questioning, and encourage the struggling. I want the ability and opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others.

I keep saying I… as if it is all about me. It isn’t. I know it isn’t. I am glad it isn’t.

And yet, I am afraid of failure.

I am afraid of success.

I am afraid of not being in control.

And that’s funny considering one of the biggest lessons to have learned–forcibly–was how little I or anybody else really does control.

But we try.

We try hard.

We go to every imaginable length to control or at least feel like we are in control.

Often it is a grand illusion. Until it turns out to be not so grand.

So this Sunday is fast approaching. It’s been a long time since I have preached. It will be the first time to speak in as large a setting as this.

I used to have lots of confidence. These days? Not quite as much. But, I have prepared the best I can. I think God has given me a message. I pray it will be of benefit. I believe it is a message every church, every believer needs to hear,

I hope that doesn’t sound arrogant. I hope it doesn’t seem as if I am high on myself. To the contrary, I feel as if I am the least most likely person in the world to have a message others need.

Until I remember my pain.

Until I recall my doubt.

Until I am faced once again with all of my struggle and questioning…

And then I remember. Then I reconsider. Then I know there are untold numbers of people who are also in pain. Who wrestle with doubt. Who question and struggle with deep, dark things.

Then I remember.

I remember from whence I came.

From where I still am.

And I know others need the same message of hope and recovery.

Sunday is my day of reckoning.

And I am afraid.

But I will face the future as boldly as I know how… and ever thankful for second chances and new beginnings.

Saddle up your horses we’ve got a trail to blaze

Through the wild blue yonder of God’s amazing grace

Let’s follow our leader into the glorious unknown

This is a life like no other – this is The Great Adventure…

 Come on get ready for the ride of your life

Gonna leave long faced religion in a cloud of dust behind

And discover all the new horizons just waiting to be explored

This is what we were created for…

Steven Curtis Chapman–The Great Adventure

Are you ready for yours?

Les Ferguson, Jr.