As I write this I am waiting.
I am not at the doctor’s office or hospital.
I am not waiting on a child to get through with music lessons.
I am not waiting on somebody to get ready.
I am not waiting on an appointment.
And even though you were to see me now sitting at my desk in my office pecking away at this keyboard, you would find me waiting.
I am not good at waiting. Years ago in the US Navy we would laugh with frustration at how the military often worked. It was quite common to both hear and say, hurry up and wait…
I am waiting on many things in this life.
People don’t move at the speed I would like.
Things don’t happen in my timeframe.
My expectations/ desires are often not the reality of my world.
And so I wait.
I wait for fairness and justice.
I wait for understanding.
I wait for answers I know will not satisfy the longing in my heart.
I wait for answers that will not be given on this side of life.
And so I wait.
I eagerly await the day when sickness, sorrow, pain, and suffering are no longer a part of our lives.
I long for the day when death is gone forever.
I wait expectantly for the ultimate redemption, restoration, and reconciliation of this world/ creation.
At times it seems as if it will take forever.
And so I wait.
I am tired of being broken.
I am weary of struggling against my own broken nature.
I am often exhausted by by the ache and loss in my heart.
I shed tears on a regular basis for the pain and hurt my children feel but seldom express.
I am sometimes shocked by how much that which would be joyous is overshadowed by loss.
There is a tension here at my new address.
And so I wait.
Thankfully, I do not wait alone.
I wait with my wife and family—we walk this journey together.
I wait with others whose faith has been tested.
I wait with those who so identify with the man who told Jesus: I believe. Help my unbelief.
We are not joyless people out here on the margins.
We are not without hope.
In fact, ours is a hope so real we cling to it as if nothing else matters.
Because nothing else does…
May the greatest of blessings be yours this season.
Merry Christmas to all…
Les Ferguson, Jr.
Madison/ Ridgeland, MS.
Waiting with you, brother! Love and peace to your family. This is a tough time of year for so many of us. But we wait in hope!
Thank you, Jimmy! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
I totally get your impatience with waiting. God hears from me often, sometimes loudly about that.
Listen to Andrew Peterson’s song “The Reckoning” sometime. (Spotify has it.)
I’ve even echoed Jeremiah’s words to God, “You tricked me, and I was tricked!”
Thanks for sharing your thoughts my warrior brother! Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Thank you! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Hey Brother, Like a warm cup of soup on a cold night your story hit the spot. Hope you do not mind if I use your thoughts tonight, as I consider some of those who waited long ago for a promise of a Messiah to come. ( Don’t worry you get full credit) God bless and Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Absolutely! Use away! and thank you! Merry Christmas!
I wait with you as well.
Merry Christmas, Tina!
Les, I really feel the emotion in this post. I imagine we all could say we are waiting. I have asked some of the same questions you have. I have not had the kind of heartbreak you have, but I have had heartache. I wonder if God will ever answer some of my prayers the way I want Him to. I know that’s foolish, but I pray. I do have hope as a daughter of God, and I long for the day when He welcomes me home. I will be happy, and I will be content……….but I wait.
God bless you and your family at this special time of the year.
Donna
Thank you, Donna! Merry Christmas!
It is as if I could have written these words….thank you for expressing your feelings so well.
Marvelous thoughts brother.
thank you, sir!
Beautiful Les. I especially resonate with this: “I am tired of being broken.”
Thanks Bob! Merry Christmas old friend!
good stuff….
Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the words of Christ.
God Bless you.
I understand how you feel, Les. It is a longing we all have. Have you read, “The Shack,” by Wm. Paul Young? It has helped me in words that I can’t express. Then I read the follow-up, “The Shack Revisited,” by C. Baxter Kruger, and it took me on a journey even farther beyond, overwhelming “The Great Sorrow” that can seem so all-pervading at times. Our spiritual health and well-being is deeply dependent on our realization of God’s love for all of his creation, including you and me and all others, and the ultimate and inevitable fulfilling of his purpose in each and every one of us. Young and Kruger have shared the sorrow and darkness of the very things that you express, and, I believe, have been inspired by God to give answers and deliverance to those of us who have struggled with doubt and despair. As I write it is late on Christmas day, but let me wish you a belated meaningful Christmas, and may the coming year bring you great joy, along with an even greater relationship with our loving Papa, who is always present with you.
Thank you, John. Would love to visit with you more. I have read the Shack–before my tragic loss, but not since. I may need to check out the follow up.
Thanks for sharing.
Lacy Simms, I thought of our conversation yesterday when I read this. I think you would like Les’s writings. You can follow his blog. ð (Thanks Les.)
Excellent
Yup ! He’s talking to me !!
I tired of waiting so dove in and read His whole Word to discover almost all are deaf dumb and blind. He strengthens me to put one foot in front o the other
HAPPY NEW YEAR AND GOD BLESS TO ALL YOUR FAMILY. Jackie and Arthur
Thank you! And to you and yours!
Thank you friend. Sorry about the delay in responding.