I Am Waiting…


As I write this I am waiting.

I am not at the doctor’s office or hospital.
I am not waiting on a child to get through with music lessons.
I am not waiting on somebody to get ready.
I am not waiting on an appointment.

And even though you were to see me now sitting at my desk in my office pecking away at this keyboard, you would find me waiting.

I am not good at waiting. Years ago in the US Navy we would laugh with frustration at how the military often worked. It was quite common to both hear and say, hurry up and wait

I am waiting on many things in this life.
People don’t move at the speed I would like.
Things don’t happen in my timeframe.
My expectations/ desires are often not the reality of my world.

And so I wait.

I wait for fairness and justice.
I wait for understanding.
I wait for answers I know will not satisfy the longing in my heart.
I wait for answers that will not be given on this side of life.

And so I wait.

I eagerly await the day when sickness, sorrow, pain, and suffering are no longer a part of our lives.
I long for the day when death is gone forever.
I wait expectantly for the ultimate redemption, restoration, and reconciliation of this world/ creation.

At times it seems as if it will take forever.
And so I wait.

I am tired of being broken.
I am weary of struggling against my own broken nature.
I am often exhausted by by the ache and loss in my heart.
I shed tears on a regular basis for the pain and hurt my children feel but seldom express.
I am sometimes shocked by how much that which would be joyous is overshadowed by loss.

There is a tension here at my new address.
And so I wait.

Thankfully, I do not wait alone.
I wait with my wife and family—we walk this journey together.
I wait with others whose faith has been tested.
I wait with those who so identify with the man who told Jesus: I believe. Help my unbelief.

We are not joyless people out here on the margins.
We are not without hope.
In fact, ours is a hope so real we cling to it as if nothing else matters.
Because nothing else does…

May the greatest of blessings be yours this season.

Merry Christmas to all…

Les Ferguson, Jr.
Madison/ Ridgeland, MS.

28 thoughts on “I Am Waiting…

  1. I totally get your impatience with waiting. God hears from me often, sometimes loudly about that.
    Listen to Andrew Peterson’s song “The Reckoning” sometime. (Spotify has it.)
    I’ve even echoed Jeremiah’s words to God, “You tricked me, and I was tricked!”
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts my warrior brother! Merry Christmas to you and your family.

  2. Hey Brother, Like a warm cup of soup on a cold night your story hit the spot. Hope you do not mind if I use your thoughts tonight, as I consider some of those who waited long ago for a promise of a Messiah to come. ( Don’t worry you get full credit) God bless and Merry Christmas to you and your family.

  3. Les, I really feel the emotion in this post. I imagine we all could say we are waiting. I have asked some of the same questions you have. I have not had the kind of heartbreak you have, but I have had heartache. I wonder if God will ever answer some of my prayers the way I want Him to. I know that’s foolish, but I pray. I do have hope as a daughter of God, and I long for the day when He welcomes me home. I will be happy, and I will be content……….but I wait.

    God bless you and your family at this special time of the year.


  4. I understand how you feel, Les. It is a longing we all have. Have you read, “The Shack,” by Wm. Paul Young? It has helped me in words that I can’t express. Then I read the follow-up, “The Shack Revisited,” by C. Baxter Kruger, and it took me on a journey even farther beyond, overwhelming “The Great Sorrow” that can seem so all-pervading at times. Our spiritual health and well-being is deeply dependent on our realization of God’s love for all of his creation, including you and me and all others, and the ultimate and inevitable fulfilling of his purpose in each and every one of us. Young and Kruger have shared the sorrow and darkness of the very things that you express, and, I believe, have been inspired by God to give answers and deliverance to those of us who have struggled with doubt and despair. As I write it is late on Christmas day, but let me wish you a belated meaningful Christmas, and may the coming year bring you great joy, along with an even greater relationship with our loving Papa, who is always present with you.

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