October 10, 2013.
Not today.
But Thursday.
This Thursday.
Not tomorrow.
Not Wednesday.

It’s coming quickly.
More quickly than we want.
We would like to fast forward past it.
Better yet, skipping it completely seems like a splendid idea.

But no matter how badly we want to avoid it, it’s coming like gangbusters and will continue to do so until time is no more.

With everyday of every calendar.
With every new moon of every month.
With every change of every season, it comes around again and again.

For most folks, October 10th is just another fall day.
The sun will rise.
The day will run it’s course.
And a new day will take its place.

This year it is on a Thursday.
A prelude to a three day weekend.
The boys have various things planned or hoped for.
We need to get in another load of firewood.
Life goes on.

This October 10th means two years.


Two years.
Two long years.
Two short years.
Two heartbreaking years.
Two years of pain.


Two years.
Two years of happiness.
Two years of joy.
Two years we could not have ever imagined.

Two years of new life and living.
Two years of new experiences.
Two years of new relationships.
Two years of new challenges.
Two years of new adventures.


Two years of struggle.
Two years of triumph.


Two years of wondrous healing.
Two years of still desperately needing to be healed.


Two years seems like an achingly long time with more to come.
Two years is an eternity.

Two years have passed in an incredible blur.
Two years gone and it seems like the past was a dream life barely remembered.


Such a paradox.
Such is life.

Two years ago this coming Thursday, October 10, 2011, one life ended and another began.

What do you do with an anniversary like this?
What do you do with a yearly reminder of the most hurtful, pain-filled day in your life and the life of your children?

Two years and an ocean-full of tears.
Two years and a heavy heart.
Two years…

This Thursday we remember.
Not that we ever forget.
But this Thursday we remember.

We remember, honor, and give thanks.
We give thanks for the lives we lived and those we lost.
We give thanks for the new lives we live and the new love we’ve found.

And we endeavor.
We endeavor to live life fully.
We endeavor to embrace every day.
We endeavor to face the future while never forgetting the past.


We remember.

Les Ferguson, Jr.

24 thoughts on “Two

  1. Les, I will pray that God holds each of you up beneath your arms on Thursday and throughout the weekend. Also, I pray that the joy he promises us that is based only on His love and Jesus’s resurrection will emerge at least at some point during the pain-filled memories. On Sept. 20 this year, I went through another loss, and how I can never forget Jan. 19 for the rest of my life. But, in spite of the buildup, the days usually pass just fine and I am stronger for each of them. God cares so much more about our growth than He does our comfort. Alas but also how wonderful.

  2. Every morning when I see another blog from you, I can hardly wait to read it. I’ve only been on your distribution list for a few months so initially had no idea of the tragedies through which you had been. After learning of those events, I have been through my own grieving for your loss…certainly not to the extend of you and your precious family but at least being a mom and grandmother, I can relate to some degree. I have just read The Shack, Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity, by William P. Young and your story coupled with the murder of Mackenzie Phillips’ daughter as chronicled in The Shack are having a profound affect on my beliefs and understanding in light of my very traditional, conservative upbringing. Thank you for your honesty and willingness to bare your burdens so that we all can deepen our thinking. You verbally ask the questions that those us who sit in the pews are often afraid to ask.

    • Thank you, Tina! The Shack is an amazing book. I read it several years ago when John Robert Dobbs was killed. He was the same age as Cole–and knew each other since their respective daddies have been friends since we were 18 and 17. I read it because John read it. I am not sure I could read it again at this point. I have written some pretty raw stuff. Some of it has not be put out for public consumption–TMI I suspect for many. Thank you again for reading and engaging!

  3. You’ve been on my heart this week as I knew The Day was approaching. Praying comfort and continued healing over you and your family.

  4. Love this. I am so very Happy you are Happy. I know this is a hard day for all of you. I pray you can get through it. I am so very proud you are preaching again. I really miss you being my preacher.

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