Fat Daddy

Frustration mounts.

You probably didn’t come here to get my take on the latest shenanigans coming out of our nation’s capital. I’ll probably just refrain at least in this format. I’ll give you a hint, though. I am a fan of the Revolution that began this country.

A big, big fan.
But I digress.

Frustration mounts.
I am surrounded by frustrated people.
And not just in the federal government.

We have a new mayor. The city paid the lawsuits as a result of his philandering. He was then caught taking a bribe by the FBI. He’s out and going to jail.

Our county government has problems also. Somebody may yet go to jail as well.
And then there is our school district.
If I told you, you would find it hard to believe.

Not only does frustration abound, craziness does too.

For a long time, I wanted to be a politician. But then I realized I would for the most part either have to be a liar, cheater, schemer, swindler, or manipulator… if not, then at the very best, I would be in a tiny small minority.

I am probably painting with an overly wide brush.
But you’d have to do the hard work of proving me wrong to change my mind.

At this point, I’d do better to just call them idiots and leave it at that.

Frustration mounts.
For many, it is a slowly seething pot that is about to reach it’s boiling point.

I could easily volunteer for president of the frustration club–at least for the branch that deals with the federal government.

While I am hopping mad at lots of stuff going on in this country, it’s politics and governance is not by far my biggest frustration.

Want to take a guess where or in whom my greatest frustration lies?
Hey God, my greatest frustration is you!

Far from intending anything disrespectful or blasphemous, I imagine God saying, “I know, son, I know…”
And yet frustration mounts.

I wrote the other day about hanging on.
It was good advice for me to hear.
Apparently, I still need the reminder.

But the truth is my patience is wearing thin.
And I am tired. Very tired.
I keep thinking about and asking myself how much longer will I be frustrated and stymied? How many more lessons do I have to learn until some of the old me can be comfortably a part of the new me? How long, God, how long?

Frustration mounts.
As a result, tonight, I am self-medicating.

Tonight I am writing with my drug of choice right beside me.
Yes, I did say drug, but it’s not what you think…

I am frustrated.
I am impatient.
I am weary.
But I am growing full and momentarily contented as the stack of fig newtons slowly dwindles away chased by a beautiful glass of cold, cold milk!

And I am smiling with a memory of my sweet Cole… I can clearly hear him say mischievously as the cookies are devoured… You fat, daddy. You fat.

Maybe so, son.
Maybe so.

Frustration mounts.
Relax and have a cookie.
Chances are, you can’t do much about it anyway!

(Somebody will probably have to remind me of this tomorrow…)

Les Ferguson, Jr.

10 thoughts on “Fat Daddy

  1. The ones who can truly make us the most angry are also, at the same time, those whom we truly love the most. That is why God ticks you off at the moment. About that I have no doubt, though I doubt many things…..

  2. I am a Fig Newton fan too Les!

    And I too understand frustration. Learning to be content in and with such situations can be the most difficult thing in life. Knowing that Paul wrote of learning to be content while he was in jail always challenges me to be a better man and a more devoted follower of Christ.

    I invite you to pray that serenity prayer with me. Not that it is always answered. ツ

  3. Thank you for being real. Life is SO messy. Church is messy, family is messy. We have had to say good-bye to a son and a daughter and no matter how many years go by reality stinks. My husband was a preacher in the same tribe as you and became physically disabled in the blink of an eye. Did the church stand by us? Nope. Kicked to the curb just like you. Life is so messy. I hold onto the truth that someday God will redeem this messy time for all of us. I hold tightly to that promise. Praying for your heart to find some rest today.

  4. Les, I hear you. Our nation has digressed — it’s been on a downward spiral for quite some time now, and I think we’re about to see things really crash — maybe a good thing. Sometimes we need a good shake-up to get back on track, although we have such a mess right now that I think it’s going to take a clean sweep and wiping the slate clean on a lot of our laws that are on the books, pounding hard to get rid of the corruption, and bringing God back as the central theme of our government. It will take a miracle. I do believe in miracles, by the way.

    On a personal level, you’ve had crisis after crisis after crisis to deal with in such a brief amount of time that it’s no wonder you’re weary. There was a time in my own life when it seemed like even the tiniest flicker of hope was gone. John had gotten himself into a legal mess (Federal level, no less), and the long and the short of it was the government seized ALL of our money, put a $1.2 million dollar lien on our home making it impossible to sell, he was stripped of his job, and suddenly I had to become the bread winner of the household. I had not worked outside of the home for over thirty years and still had several kids living a home. Let’s just say I spent many days in a web of fear, mistrust, anger, pain, questioning where God was, etc. Les, I can’t tell you yet how we got throught that mess because I was numb. Things like the electricity and phone were shut off, many weeks the menu was peanut butter and bread, and there were no words spoken — only tears. I feel your pain — I really do. Hang in there — I know from past experience that God is still there. He is at work in your life. He will put the right people in your path at the right time. I don’t know how He does it, but He does.

    Try to relax while eating your fig newtons and drinking your milk. Picture life as being wonderfully refreshed. Better days are ahead! Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow. But, better days are coming. God is working. Don’t give up on Him.


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