Here’s a bit of a rant.
Based on some of the comments on another post or two, somebody is bound to judge what I am about to say.
But based on another comment or so, I am not alone in the wondering, questioning, and the faith struggle involved.
So if I offend your sensibilities, or if it bugs you that a guy with a great theological education has these kinds of difficulties, then I am ok with that.
And even more so, I am thankful you have not had to wrestle with God in the same way.
I really, really am. Of course I have to tell you the next blog post after this one is going to be about the biggest and most oft told lie in all of Christendom.
Yes, I can be bold and assertive. And yes, I am positive it is true. And yes, yes, again, it is a systemic lie and cultural trait that has to be dealt with for the church to be the authentic body of Christ.
But that’s another day. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the day after. But, it is coming for sure. It will be offensive to some who don’t like to recognize when the emperor has no clothes. It isn’t intended to tear anybody or anything down—yet, it will be written to beg for authenticity in the lives of those who make up the church.
On to today’s rant… (It’s my blog and I can rant if I want to, rant if I want to…)
I had a comment online today. I also had a call from a new friend who is just two months and a few days into the loss of his 17-year-old son. Both expressed a frustration of mine.
I am better than I used to be about it.
If just a little.
There came a time in my grief where I couldn’t get on Facebook without being bitter and angry—both to God and those who were posting.
Here’s the nature of some of what I would read—and still do.
My prayers were answered—I got the job!
God was with us today—we won!
I am so thankful God healed my sore throat!
He did all that for you?
What about the guy who didn’t get the job?
Or what about the team that lost?
I am so glad your sore throat is no longer, but what about the friend who is even now crying out for a miracle from God?
What about the twenty years I prayed for my son to no longer be disabled?
He isn’t anymore. I get that. And as hard as it is to miss him, I am so glad he has been healed in every way.
I know. I know. My faith has to be stronger. I have to believe and trust in God more. But while I always wanted my family to be safe and well, I wasn’t exactly praying for them to make a fast trip to heaven for them to be that way…
So in the reality of life. it’s not always as easy as you might want it to be.
At least not for me and a few of my friends.
Some of us are hurt everyday by the seemingly unanswered prayers that pour from our hearts, minds, and lips—sometimes in an agony that only the Holy Spirit can hear and interpret.
Has anybody else ever wondered why some prayers are answered and others are not? (Please don’t give me the old saw that no answer is an answer—that’s disingenuous at best and insulting at worst!)
I am trying to trust that my lament will end like David’s one day…
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me. (Psalm 13 NIV)