Romans 12:15, Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Momma says, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
In the immediate aftermath of our family tragedy, people most likely thought I was zoned out. I was to some degree. Certainly I was in shock. But part of the time I was simply dumbfounded at the things people would say.
Some of it was crazy. (No, I am sorry your dog died, but I promise… it is not the same as losing a child and you have no idea how I feel.)
Some of it was dumb. (Really? You expect me to be strong at a time like this because the church is depending on me? Are you an idiot?)
And some of it was just ignorantly insulting. (Are you serious? Do you hear what you are saying? How in the world could you ever twist a double murder and the loss of a wife, mother, son, and brother into something good? How do you look at a five year old and say “your mother’s gone but something good is going to come of it.”?)
Religious platitudes and empty words of comfort are everywhere. I bet you have said some of them. I know I have. And I’ll even grant in saying them, we probably meant well. But well intentioned or not, sometimes the things we say to be comforting, compassionate, or caring are just plain stupid.
Or worse, but I am trying to be nicer than I feel about it.
In the end, death, tragedy, pain, and loss rarely feel like the blessing of God.
So when words fail (and they will because nothing you say can fix it), mourning with those who mourn is the only valid option.