I am often told my writing is raw, honest, and full of emotion. Most of the time those that tell me also thank me for it.
I also hear from people who tell me how painful and hard it is to read, but read it they must.
Sometimes I think honesty is a trait of another time and place. We often pull our punches. We often tell people exactly what they want to hear.
I know some good people who would love for me to write today and tell you of all the wonderful things in my life… tell you about my successes and blessing… let you know of all the joy and happiness that has invaded my life.
And, if the truth be told completely, there are wonderful things, wonderful people in my life. In some places, in some areas I see successes, I recognize blessings. I am thankful that I do know joy and happiness–I am often able to easily find reasons for joy and happiness.
But if the truth were to be told completely, I’d have to tell you–even though it may not be what you want to hear–that there are still dark places, dark things I wrestle with.
I am tired.
Add to that a cup or two of anger here and there and it is a potent mix.
I don’t understand why it seems the wicked prosper.
Why can’t I have some of that?
I don’t have a clue why life has to be so crazy hard at times.
Is it too much to ask for a day or two every once in a while on Easy Street?
My patience with God often gets stretched thin.
Here’s my truth: I am fully ensconced in just such a time.
I am exasperated with the constant sense of having to scratch and claw.
I hate feeling desperate and unsure.
I am so ready for God to work in my life in bigger and better ways.
So this morning, in the absence of that, I did run therapy.
Three faster than normal miles on some dusty gravel roads.
And I listened to music.
Robbie Williams crooned…
When I’m feeling weak and my pain walks down a one way street…
Yep. I get that. Perfect words to encapsulate my frame of mind.
But, I didn’t need any auditory reminders this morning. So with apologies to Mr. Williams, that just wasn’t going to work. I needed music to groove/ move me faster–and help me out of my funk. And being that I am an unrepentant hard rock fan, I turned to the Red Rocker instead.
My musician Sammy Hagar can usually move me. Today he did. I like a bunch of his work, but my all time favorite and one of my most listened to songs is called Eagles Fly.
Sunday morning 9 a.m.
I saw fire in the sky
I felt my heart pound in my chest
I heard an eagle cry
Now I’m alive I can breathe the air Feel the wind, smell the earth in the air I watch an eagle rise above the trees Project myself into what he sees
Hey- Take me away Come on and fly me away Take me up so high Where eagles fly
I often dream I sail through the sky I’ve always wished I could fly The simple life of a bird on the wing Oh Lord, I could sing
Take me away Come on fly me away Lift me up so high Where eagles fly
Oh yeah- I’m alive, I breathe the air Wash the earth from my face I catch a glimpse of another dream I turn, I look but there’s no trace
Take me away. Come on, fly me away. I wanna fly away. Pick me up so high Where eagles fly
Oh yeah- Eagles fly, oh, take me away Eagles fly, oh, take me away Come on, let’s fly away where eagles fly Come on, fly away where eagles fly.
Sammy probably never intended for a guy like me to use his music to fight my way out of a funk.
But that’s where I am and not where I want to be, so fight I must.
Take me away.
Come on, fly me away. I wanna fly away. Pick me up so high
Where eagles fly…
Thank you Sammy for helping me move faster and groove on while doing it.
More importantly, thank you for reminding me of scripture…
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:30-31 (NIV)
Come on God, I am so ready to soar.
How about you?
Take me away. Come on, fly me away. I wanna fly away. Pick me up so high Where eagles fly…
Les Ferguson, Jr.