‘Tis the Season…

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‘Tis the season to be jolly. At least until you run out of fa la la la la la la…

At this point in life, I can fully empathize with those who suffer through the holidays.

Personally, I normally try to fight through my pain. I don’t want to be that guy who is always a mess of wildly fluctuating emotions.  Letting myself have an old-fashioned cry isn’t my default choice.

But there are those moments when the only way forward is found in entering the emotional minefield. I am doing that now by sharing with you a part of my story only a few haver ever heard…

Several weeks before October 10, 2011, we started a Christmas layaway for the boys–mainly Casey and Cole.

After October 10, 2011, one set of items was no longer needed.

Unfortunately, this store did not understand my dilemma. They did not have any available mechanism or procedure to cancel part of the layaway or separate the items no longer needed.

There are some things in life you cannot avoid. Like I said earlier, sometimes the only way out is to go through it. And that’s what I did. I had to purchase the entire layaway and then separate all the individual items and return what wasn’t needed.

I feel sorry now for the poor cashier/checker who had to serve me, but not then. Not then at all. I was so full of anger and pain combined with a weird kind of tenderness. Cole never touched any of those things, but somehow they were still his treasures and worthy of a bit of respect.

I lost a piece of me that day. In many respects, it was like pouring salt on an open wound.

Why am I telling you this? This story is a sacred place for me. Hopefully sharing it will encourage you to have empathy for those who struggle during this time of year.

The best gift you will ever give cannot be bought. Give others the gift of patience, love, and acceptance.  Show them the arms of Jesus.  After all, tis the season to be the reason the people around you experience love.

Thank you for being my safe place too.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Cor. 13:7 HCSB)

Blessings to all,

Les Ferguson, Jr.
Madison/ Ridgeland, MS

I Am Waiting…

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As I write this I am waiting.

I am not at the doctor’s office or hospital.
I am not waiting on a child to get through with music lessons.
I am not waiting on somebody to get ready.
I am not waiting on an appointment.

And even though you were to see me now sitting at my desk in my office pecking away at this keyboard, you would find me waiting.

I am not good at waiting. Years ago in the US Navy we would laugh with frustration at how the military often worked. It was quite common to both hear and say, hurry up and wait

I am waiting on many things in this life.
People don’t move at the speed I would like.
Things don’t happen in my timeframe.
My expectations/ desires are often not the reality of my world.

And so I wait.

I wait for fairness and justice.
I wait for understanding.
I wait for answers I know will not satisfy the longing in my heart.
I wait for answers that will not be given on this side of life.

And so I wait.

I eagerly await the day when sickness, sorrow, pain, and suffering are no longer a part of our lives.
I long for the day when death is gone forever.
I wait expectantly for the ultimate redemption, restoration, and reconciliation of this world/ creation.

At times it seems as if it will take forever.
And so I wait.

I am tired of being broken.
I am weary of struggling against my own broken nature.
I am often exhausted by by the ache and loss in my heart.
I shed tears on a regular basis for the pain and hurt my children feel but seldom express.
I am sometimes shocked by how much that which would be joyous is overshadowed by loss.

There is a tension here at my new address.
And so I wait.

Thankfully, I do not wait alone.
I wait with my wife and family—we walk this journey together.
I wait with others whose faith has been tested.
I wait with those who so identify with the man who told Jesus: I believe. Help my unbelief.

We are not joyless people out here on the margins.
We are not without hope.
In fact, ours is a hope so real we cling to it as if nothing else matters.
Because nothing else does…

May the greatest of blessings be yours this season.

Merry Christmas to all…

Les Ferguson, Jr.
Madison/ Ridgeland, MS.

A Season of Hope

I like Christmas.
Scratch that.

I love Christmas.

I love the lights.
I love the sounds.
I love the smells.

I love the feeling of this season of hope, joy, and family.

Truth be told, I am a big kid at heart.
Consequently, I am crazy about the big guy known as Santa Claus, too.

Ho, ho, ho, who wouldn’t know?

In my simple little life, there is one particularly important rule of Christmas thumb. And it’s a biggie too.

When you quit believing in Santa Claus, you get clothes for Christmas.

I believe. Therefore, bring on all the big boy toys. There will be no clothes for Christmas under my tree—at least for me!

Poor Becki. This year she has been presented with toy lists from four boys and one overgrown boy. And they are all about toys except for a hoodie for Max and some name-brand clothes junk for Conner—there is still some training needed, you can tell. Thankfully, I am up for the task.

Who knows what Mrs. Claus will do?

Sure, Santa is a lot of fun. But did I mention how much I love Christmas?

Christmas.
Peace on earth.
Goodwill towards men.
A Savior is born.

Yes, Christmas.
Christmas is so much more than candy canes, hanging your stockings with care, and the story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer.

Christmas is the season of hope we all need.
Desperately.
Whether we understand it or not.

Yes, a Savior is born.
Emmanuel.
God with us.

That’s the most amazing thing to have ever been spoken.

How I wish I could have heard the angel’s pronouncement.
How I wish to have been present with the Shepherds that night.

Can you imagine the wonder and awe of a God who choose His abode among men?

That’s the story of Christmas.

How can we not hail the new born King?

Christmas is a season of hope.
Of renewal.
Of reawakening.

Until it is not.
Until the thief shows up to rob, steal, and kill.
A murderer of hope among us…

All around you this holiday season are folks who are struggling to rediscover hope in the midst of heartache. Or people who crave joy and find it so very elusive. Or those who grieve what once was and never will be again.

Everybody’s situation is different. But the answer is always the same.
A Savior is born.
Emmanuel.
God with us.

I am glad to remember…

My chains are gone.
I’ve been set free.
My God, my Savior has ransomed me.
And like a flood His mercy reigns,
Unending love, amazing grace.

(Chris Tomlin)

In the meantime, have a holly jolly Christmas…

Merry Christmas,

Les Ferguson, Jr.