I hate being on a diet.
I would like to wish for those days long ago when my metabolism was high and I could eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.
Except the gene pool left that metabolism thing out. I have never been that person, at least that I can remember.
At this point in life, I gain at least five pounds every time I go on Facebook and see the pictures of whatever my friend Ricky Grau has posted for a meal.
It’s once again cardio time. Lots of running, walking, biking—whatever the weather will permit. Along with plenty of table push backs and healthier eating.
I don’t want to do it, but do it I must.
Unfortunately, this round of dieting and trying to get control of my eating must include a complete withdrawal from my favorite drug of choice: Chips & Salsa.
Chips & Salsa.
Oh, the glory and beauty of golden yellow chips and rich red salsa. Preferably the hotter the better.
Nothing makes a bad day or a stressful time better than a big bag of tortilla chips and some good salsa.
As much as I like it, I am not a salsa snob. I have had all kinds, all brands from ultra cheap to the best you can find. One of my favorites comes from Texas. Peach Salsa.
Yeah. I roll like that.
Just writing about it makes me wonder if life might be better lived fat and happy with chips in one hand and a bowl of salsa in the other.
At this point I bet you could easily guess my favorite kind of restaurant. Yep. Any that serve Mexican style food. You know the kind, don’t you? They always deliver chips and salsa.
I have spent years living on Salsa Time. And if I can lose some weight, I can get back to living on Salsa Time again. At least until I gain all the weight back and start all over once more.
It’s a vicious cycle.
Somebody help me.
I wonder if there is a support group for Salsa Addicts.
I hope you hear me having a little fun with something I seriously need to work on. I really must let go of my unhealthy approach to eating.
That’s not the only thing I am having to learn how to let go of…
It would be no gamble for me to say I am not alone.
You, dear reader, have things in your life that control you inordinately just as I do.
Here’s where this post on Salsa Time is taking us…
It has been a real temptation for me to let anger and bitterness control who I am and who I will be.
This is going to sound heartless and cruel, but I hope you will follow through with my thoughts and reasonings and hear me out.
I am glad Paul Buckman took his own life. I am sorry for his family, but I am glad he is gone on to his just reward, whatever that might be. I am thankful we were spared a trial and all the circus that comes with it.
There was a time in which I hated him and hated his family even worse. That anybody might have loved him and had an inkling of what he was capable of was a massive affront. I wanted every relative and distant connection he might have had to be gone from this earth.
But in the taking of his own life, he did me a service, as harsh as it might be. I hate what he did, but I cannot hate him for he is no longer here.
I have had to learn to let it all go.
Anger and bitterness engendered by his despicable actions are nothing but a poison to my body, mind, soul, and life.
The toxin that results from holding on to my anger and bitterness robs me of the joy of family. My beautiful new wife.
My new stepchildren.
They need me to be me. Not some twisted version of hate, rage, and bitterness.
I have been in a long process of letting it go.
Forgiveness is the next step.
And I am learning how to do even that.
Paul Buckman was just a man. However it happened, his made-in-the-image-of-God humanity got skewed all out of whack. I am sure his parents never envisioned what he would become. I suspect he never planned or desired to have his life end the way it did.
I hate the pain he has caused us. I hate the pain we will hold until God calls us home.
But I can no longer hate him.
A long time ago, in another life in the first church I served as full time preaching minister, a young lady said something I have never forgotten:
Forgiveness is a gift you gave yourself.
And totally rehabilitating.
Paul Buckman? I may have to wrestle with this over and over again, but today, I forgive you.
I forgive you.
Are there are folks and situations I need to let go of?
But for now, my plate is full. It’s impossible to forget, but I am going to forgive.
How about you?
Any forgiveness you need to give?
In the meantime, does anybody know where I can find some calorie free chips? My contraband salsa is waiting.
Les Ferguson, Jr.