If Cole were still alive, he would look at me today and say, “Dad, you’re a big way-way, straighten up.”
Can you guess what a way-way is?
In Cole’s particular way of speaking, a way-way is a big fat baby.
A whiney butt.
Anybody caught up in a pitiful woe-is-me pity party.
I can be a way-way.
Most of us can.
It turns out, pity party’s are pretty easy, inexpensive, and easy to throw.
As far as today is concerned, it’s just been a day.
Nothing bad happened.
On the other hand nothing majorly good happened either.
In the grand scheme of things, you might say I don’t have much to complain about, and you would be right.
I have good health.
I have a great family.
I have a super fantastic wife.
In more ways than I would have, could have ever imagined or dreamed, my life is good.
Considering it all, it’s pretty amazing.
But the truth is, it’s just been one of those days my heart hurts.
One of those days where the reminders of loss come in ways you don’t expect.
So where am I going with all of this?
Life is often extremely hard and tragic. And for some, normal will never be the same. After hurricane Katrina, those of us on the Mississippi Gulf Coast got quit tired of hearing about our new normal.
But that was the reality then and the reality for many even this moment.
Life eventually mends in some fashion. Broken hearts are healed at best; at worst, they grow a pretty thick layer of scar issue that at least allows new functionality.
For many, a new reality is born through a long hard birth process of grieving and pain. Coming out on the other side and being able to live, is a tremendous blessing and worth rejoicing over.
Today I have struggled with feelings of low self-esteem. Today I have been angry, hurt, and fretful for the hardships yet to be overcome. But I intend to live! And be joyful. And not so fearful of the future.
I am strong. I will get stronger.
This day is drawing to a close.
Tomorrow is a new day and as my sweet Becki likes to remind me, I will push through and forward.
How about you?
Headed in the same direction?
Let’s travel together, you and I…
Forever thankful for the blessing of being called a way-way by my son,
Les Ferguson, Jr.