On Being Ignored

It is a rainy day as I sit and write. I wish I was doing this at the table in the cool of the house, coffee cup close at hand. (Really loving this new pecan praline flavor)

Unfortunately, that is, at this moment, a wildly self-indulgent fantasy.

Instead, the surroundings in which I write are far from conducive. At this moment, there are four of us sitting in the waiting room of an MEA urgent care clinic.

Two adults and two sick kids. The sound of violent expulsion of all ingested food matter has reverberated through our home for days.

Did I say days?

Yes, days. It has been a round robin of sickness. Only one kid out of four has not been ill. I sure hope he stays healthy. I am not at all willing to entertain the idea of another round… As if I get a choice.

At least in the lethargy of kids sickness, there is an excuse for ignoring all requests, questions, etc.

I hate to be ignored.
Hate is a strong word that does not quite describe how badly it irritates me to be ignored.

I hate to be ignored!

The youngest among us has the aggravating habit of ignoring what is being said to him. To give him credit, he is sick and sometimes he is super self absorbed in whatever he is doing–he hears and sees nothing going on around him. He wouldn’t hear a bomb if it went off beside him. But at other times, he doesn’t want to hear or doesn’t like what is being said… And he will turn his head and pretend to not hear.

Can you say immediate transformation into mad dad?
Yeah.

I unfortunately don’t have much patience for being ignored in any circumstances.

In my last post, I asked God to give us some redeeming knowledge of You we can touch and hold on to when it feels as if we’ve been abandoned.

Or ignored.

I have never been the person who prayed and demanded God to change or undo something I had done. When I was up to my eyeballs in debt, I didn’t ask God to manipulate the accounts so that suddenly they showed zero. Instead, I prayed for God to help me be a better steward, to change my attitudes, and where possible, to mitigate the pain my family might feel as a result of my personal stupidity or mismanagement.

And in those kinds of circumstances, even though the situation might feel hopeless, I never felt abandoned or ignored. I always felt as if God pointed me in a new direction or helped me see something to bring relief.

In the here and now, I am not so sure I feel abandoned. But ignored? Yes, I feel like I am worshipping the kind of God Elijah taunted on Mt. Carmel. One who is too busy, or asleep, or on a far journey.

Ignored.

Can God not see all of the ripple effects that never seem to end?
Can God not see or hear the pain of my children?
Can God not see all the difficulties inherent in trying to build/ start an entirely new career–new life out of the ashes?

I know He can.
So I am left wondering why I am not as worthy of His love, protection, and guidance than the other guy? (That is how it feels…)

Why God, do you ignore?

I am not yet ready to quit believing in God. Not even a possibility. And in the discomfort of questioning and wondering without answers, I am trying hard (patient I am not) to sing, believe, and act out the words of John Waller’s song, I Am Waiting, even as I am ignored

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve you while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y

Have you ever felt ignored?

Les Ferguson, Jr.

4 thoughts on “On Being Ignored

  1. Ignored? Definitely. Sometimes I think God doesn’t like me as much as He does those who have done more for him. He loves everyone, but he just doesn’t *like* me as much.

  2. In my darkest days, I remember hoping God would claim me. I wanted so badly for Him to take all of the evil and pain in my life and make it recoil. I prayed for a Father to say “Hands off, she’s mine!” It took years, but that day finally came. Psalm 18 is very special to me as I had a moment where He did, finally, take hold of me. It has taken years to rebuild my life, but it has come. I pray your Psalm 18 moment will come soon and that you will no longer feel ignored. I can say, like so many other things in life, it is well worth the wait! Hang on, we’re all here to support and encourage you until then.

  3. Sorry about the sick kids Les. Pray that they will recover quickly!

    Guess my thinking is not as mystical about the presence of God. I see His presence more in the ways that believers like my friends and family love me and help me. I see their care for me as an extension of divine love and presence.

    That said I do understand that feeling of being alone and being ignored. The bible is filled with people who have felt alone. I cannot imagine how ignored Joseph felt in that Egyptian jail. I wonder how many psalms were written by people who felt ignored when they prayed? Guess I take heart in their stories.

    Hope you have a good weekend!

    Blessings, Bob

  4. I love that John Waller song, Les. Good use of it in this post. I hope you and Becki don’t get this crud, or the last child standing….

    I don’t think I have felt ignored but I have felt like an earlier reader posted, that I wasn’t being “blessed” like others b/c maybe I hadn’t done enough for Him and therefore wasn’t receiving the blessings….

    Great post….

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