Don’t be a hater.
I am about to become a hero or a heel.
Depends on your perspective.
To the ladies who will consider me a hero or at least a really good guy, try to remember–I know it will be hard–that I am a very happily married man and therefore all of my considerable charms are unavailable. (Written with tongue planted firmly in cheek)
To the guys who are going to be haters… well imagine me with thumbs in my ears wiggling my fingers at you and saying nanny, nanny boo boo!
I am not necessarily proud of what I am going to divulge, but it is the reality of my world.
Favorite TV show? The Walking Dead.
Number of episodes watched during the latest season just ending? Zero–still trying to play catch up from the season before.
The reason why I watch so little of the action shows/ movies I love is quite simple.
Almost all of my TV time is spent curled up with my oh so beautiful wife watching our “favorite channels.” You know, Hallmark and Lifetime…
Yes, Hallmark and Lifetime are my friends–and if it means spending time with Becki, I will watch them until the cows come home (or she gets up and leaves the remote with me).
Just the other day, we were watching Frasier (and both enjoying it, thank you very much) when a commercial came on for a show with Joan Rivers. In this commercial, Joan and her daughter were trying out an earthquake simulator.
We had an earthquake once while living on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. It was just a few weeks or so after Hurricane Katrina. At least that is what they told us on the local news. I never felt a thing which means something very impressive: I am not an expert on earthquakes!
And yet, I have felt the whole earth take a seismic shift underneath my feet.
My friend Randy says about an earthquakes he experienced while stationed in California… 6.4 was the most scary feeling ever. How can a person stand their ground when it is rolling under your feet? We use the ground as a foundation. What happens when the foundation is what is changing?
Randy knows the worst kind of an earthquake. He lost a son in a car accident just a few months ago. We talk fairly often. I am not that far ahead of him in terms of time and loss. But I am far enough ahead to recognize what he is going through–to help him wrestle with his grief, anger, and pain. Much like one of my oldest friends (college roommate and road trip buddy–I am the giver, JD) did for me.
The brotherhood (and sisterhood) of loss understands like no one else the pain of losing a child…
What happens when you experience traumatic loss and a total upheaval (whether a child is involved or not)?
The ground under your feet moves, the foundation shifts, and the walls crumble.
Earthquakes change topography.
And no less so when the earthquake is of a spiritual natural.
Don’t be a hater.
If you’d like, you can make fun of me watching Lifetime and Hallmark (hey, some of those Christmas movies were pretty good).
But whatever you do, please understand this: There are some among us who have experienced the very worst life has to offer. The foundation of our lives has shifted, twisted, and crumbled beneath our feet.
I am one of them.
We have not rejected God. We are not denying Him. But we ask hard questions. We hurt. We seek to understand–even if there are no easy answers.
So don’t be a hater. Even worse, please don’t have a condescending or superior attitude. Reserve your judgment, for you unless you have walked in our shoes, you have no idea what you are judging.
I am thankful God is content with mental, emotional, and spiritual wrestling.
Can you be content and supportive of those who wrestle too?
Les Ferguson, Jr.