The Fat Lady Isn’t Singing Yet

I am quite sure you’ve heard the quaint old cliche “it ain’t over ’till the fat lady sings.”

Hold that thought for just a minute or two.

Most of us are ill-equipped to deal with grief.

There is no way to ever be completely ready.

Not at the beginning.

Not in ourselves.

Not in others.

Grieving is too complex an issue.

Much has been written about the stages of grief. What I am finding is whether you are new to grief or in a decades long relationship, the grieving are all over the map. In fact, I am hearing stories from fellow grievers detailing short-term and lifelong grieving processes that may never completely end this side of the great divide.

And God how I wish I didn’t, but I get that. I really really do.

After the funeral or graveside service or however you address death’s finality on this side of the ether plains, it isn’t over. Not by a long shot.

You may think the fat lady has sung.

She hasn’t.

She hasn’t begun to tickle those vocal cords in warm-up mode.

She doesn’t even know what the song will be.

So what happens after the funeral and everybody goes home?

Life happens.

Life changes

The world keeps spinning.

Through the tears and the pain a hard fought new reality comes into existence.

And the song the fat lady sings? It is being written and rewritten over and over again.

Some of your friends and family will hear it with you; some won’t.

Some of your friends and family will sing it with you; some won’t.

But one of these days, the fat lady will sing.

I think I hear her warming up.

8 thoughts on “The Fat Lady Isn’t Singing Yet

  1. amen Les i am into the 12th year and im still waiting on the fat lady to sing. Im not quiet sure if she is going to Sometimes i think there will not be a song untill i hear the angles singing the day i meet my loves in heaven.

  2. Mourning stops at some point but grief stay as long as love stays. It isn’t as painful after a while, not as raw, but it is forever there. For me it has changed over time as good times and good memories now outweigh the bad. I hope that proves true for you.

  3. I hope you know and believe this
    Your family wants to hear it with you and they also want to sing it with you! Your pain, your family’s pain and healing is also our pain and healing and we choose to the best of our ability to walk beside you through each step! Love you Butch!

  4. My experience, and my study have shown me that the fat lady never sings, ’cause it ain’t ever over.

    But a new normal evolves. You don’t cry every day. You don’t feel guilty for laughing or loving someone new, but the grief is just changing, never quitting.

  5. It would be GREAT if grief followed the recipe found in books, stirred itself and was done. I find it’s just usually stuck on repeat for a while. Then, somehow, without noticing, it changes for the better.

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