One of my oldest friends fusses at me kindly when I say things like what I will eventually say in this post. He means well and I understand where he is coming from…
At any rate, our family is undergoing some changes again. Yesterday was Cole’s last day on hospice care. And that really is good news. Physically, he has stabilized—he doesn’t seem quite so frail and has a bit more energy. We are thankful. However, we are going to miss the help and care.
While he is doing some better physically, mentally and emotionally, we think he is getting worse. There are days when it seems like he is sliding faster rather than slower into a state of pure dementia.
Last week, we had daily and nightly freak outs over Karen going to a Mother’s Day Tea this past Saturday. When I say freak out, I don’t suspect you can come close to imagining how crazy it is.
Last night was another physical battle with him trying to hurt anybody he could grab… and none of it makes any sense.
It is heartbreaking and stressful and well, painful for all concerned (his brothers feel a whole different burden).
Rather than indulge in self-pity, my typical response is to deal with it, shrug it off, and accept that at this point in time, it is what it is. We can’t change it, but we can love him anyway, pray for strength, hope for tomorrow and trust that God is doing something in all of us in spite of our extraordinary fatigue and normal feeling of helplessness.
Life goes on. The world rocks on. And Cole? One day, this will all be better–he will no longer be subject to frustration.
Please keep him and us in your prayers.
On the other hand, life is still sweet. Conner turned thirteen last Saturday, four year old Casey keeps us in stitches–the laughter kind, and Kyle turned twenty-four today. We are looking forward to his wedding on June 19th to the greatest future daughter-in-law imaginable… Seeing Kyle and Karissa embark on a life of ministry and service is simply the best feeling in the world.
So while there is pain, one can still have and behold great joy–I am thankful!
Les, Jr.
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Dear Les,
Every time I read one of your posts I can’t help but tear up in pain for you. I know you write them to share with us so we can pray specifically and I do pray for you in your struggles and with all that your family has endured and
continues to go through. I do know God has given you extra measures of grace, love and humor to be able to keep on.
Every time I see any kind of post from you on Facebook I lift up you and your family in prayer and will continue to do so…even your brief comments that have nothing to do with Cole. They are just brief reminders to me that you are there and need prayer.
God bless!
Love in Christ,
Linda
You guys are in our prayers. I am so sorry that you have to experience this with Cole. I can’t even imagine seeing my son going through what he is going through. Miss you guys.
Oh, Les – I grieve for you all. With you all. How long can this go on?
My elderly mom, who is 88 1/2, is beginning to have fairly severe short term memory loss and I am having a hard time with THAT, so have no idea how I could deal with something such as you are undergoing. She is still able to live at home (in Abilene) alone and still drives, even, but I think the time will be soon when we (the kids) will have to deal with it – her – and I do not think she will be cooperative at all, unfortunately, although she’s always been a very sweet, loving person.
She has a strong will, and I think her survival instincts are going to kick in against us, and I dread even thinking of us. Already, when we’ve tried to approach her with some of these things, she bristles up and balks – is very disinclined to listen to us at all, taking offense.
In your situation, it must even be worse and I really am so sorry for all of this pain in your lives.
I will continue to pray with you and for you. But, I am glad you shared.
Dee